Friday, February 29, 2008


Broken in the fabric, not unfixable but worth lamenting, now everyone needs to know, just like the worst breaks.... everyone finds out, and reacts....all reactions hit home and the soul is bombarded with the ram and held in place with the vice... it is never ending...

i feel unnerved..

sumthing is up the top place lose yourself feel it again , touch the void, be the moment.

just be in the yes no over theree yaping like a goo yuou become go ing ing ing hideing hideing killing killing hilling hilling joking i relally am i swear it

i need this ou it needs out we needout my mind and its parts are sick of the in timewe want more of the out moments more of the understanding moments more of the freedom moments, head dowm you knwo what is needed this is the fastest there is not another existance in my mind this thought is alone being along.....

along is alone, we are all alone in our heads at the speed i am at right now... my veins pulse the people, want out also the system wants out!

Let the system out

The rulers awake.... close your eyes

shhhhhh pretend!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Go With IT

Dont find me there, dont light that, dont open ours it wont be ready when you do i know mine wont, dont leave that to the side, dont expect that to be finished, dont expect anything at all, just be in there, get your head in there, i will fly on that, i will leave on that penny, i will.

light up light up light down that road, see it? on the corner? four bricks up beside the forgotten posters, the spent money, buy your shit, eat your shit, shit your shit, they wont shit for you i bet you should pay someone with your blood money, go on shit your shit, you payed enough of it with their money to let it go to waste.

This is dry honey, this is sweet honey, this is the honey to hold me down, and give me energy, wrapped in honey, honey for the masses honey to keep you rooted, honey in the hair, honey on the comb.

Why should we waste it on boxes? why waste it at all? Why even have it? Like before the clocks kept the time ticking over, the money wasnt keeping the world as one. the clocks are unique... the money is not.

Money is not now

its what might be and what was.... i know have IT because of money. Do you want IT? I need IT!? Dont we allllll NEED IT!?

what does it matter? The shit is still shit... the IT is still IT....

I am my own grave digger, i am my own ladder.. i am my own lightbulb, my own sun, my own

The clocks are unique... go wth it... the money is not.... the clocks are unique


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Get Away From Here

Give it all you got, its all you can hope for, give it all you got.

Its what we have, its all we have.

Give it

It was going to be much harder than this but im starting to lose control of my emotions... i want so much, i dont even know if i am spoiled for choice or if im being to expectant... all i want is a result.

I feel like im in it now.. only two ways out, take the hit or run.

The hit,
I imagine the cold, hard on the back of the neck, like a wet towel. Cold water of course, there you would have the cold... however it is silent... is this the hit? Is the silence the hit? or will it be quick and then silent... a sudden HA! followed by realisation , followed by unease.... will it be?
Perhaps i need to follow through, take it down, give it no chance, come on strong, dont let anything stand in my way, it might hurt me in the doing but in the long run i may have happiness... i may have the ellusive IT.

The Run,
It will and actually is quite long, im not long distance, i know that myself, but giving up means giving in, and what i will be giving into is a lie... the question is do i need to run? I am running right now, sure why dont i just SAY IT!


I do for everyone else, why cant i take my own advice, why cant i listen to reason, why cant i NOT listen to reason?

The grades of light on my fingers right now make me think.... i cant even see some parts of them, the insides... the parts furthest from the light, the undersides.... its a slow movement, i dont know if youd even call the bright side "bright" all i know is there is a side of me im hiding... a side imafraid to give away, to let people know. Well some people.... perhas the people that matter.

Perhaps nobody needs to know

but i want them to

Im gonna dip my head now.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Close to THAT...

...time.... have to put in the boot and pull out the good stuff from the mud.... beauty from pain.

Can i find it is the question i guess..

Must not be unkind..

must not bow my head

must look into the eyes

must do whats

must do everything

must i?

i must

thats such a strong word. not like mellon. mellon is pointy at the end but flowing all the way through until that point.

in that way mellon is kinda surprising. you dont expect the point.... but it comes anyway. Its a bit of a shock really.

which is a pity

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


Emma Emma EMaaaaaaaa
Ive given you everyhting everything everything everything....
EVERYTHING I HAVE! Even the JAM for January...
Some suggesitons!
In terms of more live stuff.... JAM - can watch it if you go to JAM but the mix of Born Slippy and Rez on this will make you shiver.
I gave you a few more live gigs.... three of them are recent jams from the 2000's two from one four hour gig in the JAM which are two single tracks..... i understand this might be hard for you to listen to ....but if i was to get you to do anything itd be to listen to these as much as possible....a masterclass in mixing the songs together!


if you wanna see why....just fast forward bout 1hour into it on your ipod or comp or whatever.... and you will hear some random crazyness.....


there is another live gig from Australia in 2000 very abstract sound still had JAM bfore he left and i think its the same tour as JAM JAM, there are maybe 3 big songs on there and the rest are crazy jams worth listening to.

You have the Best Of disks 1 and 2... on there is a version of IT that is the most popular and blows your socks off at the start of the JAM, but its only on this album.. so cherish it.

JAM With JAM....the newest album.... This is one of their best... when you have blasted your ears with so much hard house four to the floor madness listen to this album....its perfect.... nothing is amiss... the sounds are insane, at parts its beautiful at others its madness.... but its like a come down of giant proportions

A Hundred JAMS Off - First without without without was out bout 2002..... some great sounds.... an absolute epic tune in 2 JAMS Off!!! and some real new sounds they hadnt tried before



you can listen to this album from start to finish and love every song.... its up there with JAM JAM JIMMINY JAM but others wont agree..... but if you like JAM will love this... JAMMER says it all at the end.... this album has balls


Second JAMMIEST In the JAR -


Shit sorry i will have to give you this later Elaine has my copy so i couldnt burn it for you! But when you do get it..... you will truely discover what it means to convey an single emotion in one ALbum..... you dont know what a drum beat is till you hear this album...not incredible all the way through but still fucking amazing

JAM JAM JIMMINY JAM- They could have stopped with this.... their first album possibly the greatest Dance album of the 90's and im not just saying that.... look at any poll any review!...its up there..... this album is timeless, it is art in every way.... you will know the songs off this.... but MMM JAM is pure genious.... this is Acid House at its most pure.... before anything was there to corrupt it... this album is what you need to base JAM on!



just a taster.... if you like this its an example of the Art
As well as all the shit i just gave you there is little bits here and there...little mixes..... hope you enjoy....
I know im an absolute off my tits fanatic.....but i dont care. it makes me feel fucking AMAAAAAAAAAZING!


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Up Beat Down Beat

ok there is happiness here,... a sort of sadness that is only achieved through happiness.

i shoould probably have acted by now, but the pain is not only in my legs its in my playing it way too cool.... i dont know if this coolness is really just worry.... a lack of understanding and match fitness.... thats why the legs and the head is sore.... the best way to remove the pain?

Push the pain around!

i will do that


Doing it